Quite frankly sometimes motherhood sucks. Like really freaking sucks. Oh did I mention, really, really sucks? Sometimes motherhood sucks – today is one of those days (and also the last 2 days).
I write this because I want other mothers to know you’re not alone. That it’s ok to say out loud: “fuck today sucked a fat one! Today I wish I was on a beach sipping margaritas, listening to a band and feeling the sun on my skin” and know that you’re not going to be judged for wishing for some alone time.
I knew motherhood would be hard, but some-days it’s so hard. The combination of sleep deprivation, being up before the sun even rises, the constant fighting between siblings, the not listing, the need to be a constant cook/maid/driver, don’t get me started about putting the kids to bed and all of these situations is enough to drive any mother (including myself) to her wits end.
Motherhood by far is the absolute hardest job I’ve ever had. Nobody ever told me about the hard days. The days where you start crying because you’ve asked your son in a calm voice 3 times to please shut off the TV and by the 4th time you have to ask a freaking monster comes screaming out of your mouth (this may have happened today). Or the days you literally just wear your pj’s all day and get excited when you get 18 seconds to yourself to take a pee (I may have experienced this victory a few times in my life). Oh and don’t get me started about the loneliness of motherhood.
Now before all the keyboard warriors start sending me hate mail please know this. Just because I say sometimes motherhood sucks does not mean I don’t love Finlee and Chloe to pieces. It doesn’t mean that they aren’t my everything because in fact they are my everything (especially after going through IVF). I just feel it’s important for us to know it’s ok to have shitty days; it’s normal. It’s ok to acknowledge that everyday is not going to be filled with lollipops, gumdrops and rainbows. It’s ok to realise we’re all just trying our very best and that every day most of us internally struggle to try and get this parenting gig right.
To all the mothers out there… keep your head up. You rock. You’ve got this. Tomorrow is a new day make it the best you can and if it turns out to be a shitty day; it’s ok. Embrace the Nutella. Eat the entire freaking jar because you know why? You can!
Anyone else ever feel that some-days motherhood sucks? What advice would you give to a new parents that nobody ever gave to you?
Love always,
Angela xoxo
Thank you! This week has been the one of the hardest of my life and it’s so nice to be reminded that it’s ok that it sucked and I’m not alone… and that it’s ok to eat the entire jar of nutella lol
Sorry to hear you’ve had a bad week and I hope it gets better now that we’re heading into the weekend. Here’s to Nutella. :o) xx
I absolutely love hearing im not the only one having shitty days or going for the nutella.
You’re not the only one; I promise. As I insert my head into the entire Nutella jar too. Have a brilliant weekend. xx
Oh.my. God. I needed this. It’s been a tough few days here with ear infections and holiday come downs and trying to get the house back in order after said holiday plus a puppy who is just about the same as having another 3 year old. I lost it and the horrible screaming monster came out a few times today…and I may have locked myself in the bathroom for a few minutes to get some desperately needed me time (and to eat my twirl). My advice to new mummies would be to surrender. Surrender to your newborn who wants to… Read more »
Hello Julia – surrendering can be the best outlet. :o) Ps – I’m glad you got your twirl. xx
I have had many days like this lately! Thank you for your honesty Angela! So refreshing.
I feel we have to be honest because society makes it think that everything is white picket fences and everyone is happy which might be true for some, but not for all. Regardless – we’re all just trying our best. Have an awesome weekend. xx
Angela, it feels like a parallel universe alright. Thanks for your sharing, really, really thanks. Today I feel myself again, but the last fortnight I’ve been in quick sand. Last night I drew a line in the sand with the TV. I refused to yell the fourth time, instead I calmly said if you choose to not listen and turn the TV on again ( through dinner) I will not yell, I will not turn it off, BUT after you are in bed asleep I will take the cables out and they will not return until Friday night and they… Read more »
Angela, it feels like a parallel universe alright. Thanks for your sharing, really, really thanks. Today I feel myself again, but the last fortnight I’ve been in quick sand. Last night I drew a line in the sand with the TV. I refused to yell the fourth time, instead I calmly said if you choose to not listen and turn the TV on again ( through dinner) I will not yell, I will not turn it off, BUT after you are in bed asleep I will take the cables out and they will not return until Friday night and they… Read more »
Love your work. Sometimes we have to calm the crazy aka yelling and do the opposite as the kids aren’t expecting the opposite. So when we don’t freak out, it’s like they know we mean business. Hope you have a great night and wonderful weekend. xx
Oh bloody oath I hear you. *Breaks off another row of chocolate that I may have been hiding from the children*
Thank you for making me snort outloud. :o) I too have been in the Nutella jar tonight. Hugs from Brisbane. xx
Yes yes and yes!!! But I often feel I’m the only one who feels this way and that no one else is struggling at all. It’s nice to hear someone else say it. I will often say this is by far the hardest job I’ve ever had – and it’s a job! I am now a working mum and I feel as though I’m never anywhere enough (at work or at home). I feel like I’m doing a crappy job in both places. Sometimes it’s nice to hear that I’m not alone. Thanks ?
I promise you’re not alone. I too experience where I feel I’m not really doing a good job anywhere because I’m torn in so many directions. I get it TOTALLY. Here’s to you having a great weekend and creating some childhood memories. xx
Could not agree with you more. Being a new mum to 9 month old twins I could not have ever conceived how hard it would be. I love them but I would jump on a plane to just about anywhere right now. I often get frowned at for saying the stuff you aren’t meant to say but stuff it. I wish more people had have been honest with me because the pressure I have felt to ‘get it right’ and be the perfect mother because no one ever talks about their struggles has been damn near overwhelming. Having said that… Read more »
Congrats on your twins. I hear you about jumping on a plane. Hell even sitting on the plane and watching a movie, going pee by myself would be awesome and it sounds like you’d even enjoy that too. Wishing you a wonderful weekend. xx Ps – Where would you go on a plane if you could. :o)
Hell yes! Thank you for keeping it real. I hope tomorrow is better for you ?
Never truer words spoken. That damn mummy guilts a killer. You get driven to breaking point. Start muttering to yourself how much easier life would be if u didnt have children, then u get mummy guilt ontop of that. But hey everyone gets down sometimes, it is freakin hardwork being a mummy. Feeling over it does not lessen our love for those pint sized demons 😉
Beautifully put….and thank you for saying it out loud.
Thank you for being brave enough to be honest. I had to wear a hat and sunnies into woolies today to get the groceries with my two yr old twins and 13wk old in tow. The ‘disguise’ was to avoid eye contact with people telling me how I had my hands full, and make it harder for CCTV if the girls pulled over a display or started marathon synchronised tantrums and I had to abandon the trolley and make a run for it. It is so nice to read what I have been thinking- often you even allude to it… Read more »
I’ve read some great articles lately about mothers sticking their heads up from behind the same basket of clean laundry they’ve been putting clothes on out of for the past week and acknowledging that they’re not OK. Yes, motherhood sucks some days. Its time we stopped burning people at the stake for saying so.
PS – I totally thought that was a toothbrush sticking out of the Nutella jar.
Yes! Yes! Yes! I love my kids to pieces but geez some days just suck big time. I had a day this week where I just felt totally alone. All I see on fb are pics of friends out and about on school holidays with their kids while I am at home with my 3 just trying to keep my head above water.
Those were the days…smile…honesty…
Hey all you young mums I am an old mum with grandkids , and it is ok to say motherhood sucks at times , because hell yes it can , and there is no such thing as a perfect mum or a perfect child . Just make sure you do have some time for you , even if it is a few minutes, that’s what us nanas are for . And I even say being a nana has sucky days . Wouldn’t be without my kids or grandkids but I still remember the “why the hell ” did I do… Read more »